The Clomid Crazies!!!!

Clomid's main function is to stimulate ovulation; produce healthy egg(s) and Estrogen/Progesterene.  What the doctor didn't tell me was how CrAzY it can make you!! You're body is producing so many hormones and your body goes haywire!

For those of you that know me, I've always been a little... sensitive to my feelings (Cole would say Drama Queen) so imagine being emotional and then times it by 10!!  So in May I took my first round of Clomid and surprisingly I felt normal.  I had a few moments of escalated emotions but not too bad.  I should also state that Dr. Magnusson told me to stop taking my basal temperature (thank goodness!) and just start using ovulation pee-tests. (Great more sticks that give bad news)

So my life was moving back to normal.  I got my period in June.  I wanted so bad to get pregnant in June.  It was one year since my miscarriage and I thought it would be so fitting to start a life.  Unfortunately the only thing that I did in June is become crazy.  Looking back I am mortified at some of the things I did and said.  I thank God that I have such a loving and understanding husband, supportive family and friends that continued to stand by me!! I was upset one day because my dad didn't say "I love you too" on the phone before hanging up.  I lost it! I went over the deep end about this! I was at work one day in June and just started crying! No reason, just started crying. 

I'm pretty sure Cole was afraid of me.  I would be happy then sad, angry then laughing.  We would fit and I would start with "I know I have no reason to be mad and its just the clomid talking but I'm so pissed off right now because..."  It's the worse feeling in the world to know that you have no reason to feel the way you do, but you can't help it!!

Another frustrating thing about clomid is that you get symptoms of pregnancy.  And your mind plays tricks on you! I want to be pregnant so bad that my body was making me think I was!

In July, I once again got my period.  So in the beginning I just wanted to get my period every month and now I was getting so mad that I was!! July was the last month of my three month cycle of clomid! Third times a charm right?!? WRONG! I got my period again in August. 

So back to the Doctor I went in the beginning of August.